3. Managing Workplace Conflict

Effectively Managing Workplace Conflict

Effectively Managing Workplace Conflict video (3:32)

Before we delve deeper into conflict management styles, it’s important to highlight that the most effective way to manage conflict is to manage yourself. You are the only common denominator in every conflict that has ever happened in your life. And you are the only person you can control. By taking as much responsibility in conflict situations as you can, you will have the power to manage conflict in a way that benefits you. The following three concepts will help you identify powerful mindsets you can use to best deal with conflict.

Concept 1: Making the relationship the priority

One of the most effective mindsets you can have in dealing with conflict is to make healing and repairing the relationship a priority. Often we get embroiled in conflict and lose sight of the whole situation. The simplest thing that can help ground our thinking and behaviour is to keep prioritizing the relationship. As we shared earlier conflict only occurs in the context of relationships, and in the case of work these relationships will be ongoing. Keeping that in mind helps put our conflicts into perspective and guide our behaviours in productive fashion.

Concept 2: 'The four horsemen'

The Four Horsemen of the relationship apocalypse John Gottman is a famous couples researcher; however his work can easily be applied to our work relationships as well. The Gottman institute has what they call the 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse for relationships. Please watch this video to understand these behaviours and how you might work to diffuse conflict by behaving differently. Watch the following video then explore the mindset checklist below.

Concept 3: Emotional well-being and conflict

Your emotional well-being and health are critical to dealing with conflicts in a productive fashion. Ensuring you have good self-care practices will provide you an advantage when conflict arises. Only you can control how you treat yourself and those around you, and acting from a place of personal responsibility with the right mindsets will likely reduce the conflicts you find yourself in. FamilyDoctor.org suggests some the following best practices for maintaining your emotional health.

Be aware of your emotions and reactions. Notice what in your life makes you sad, frustrated, or angry. Try to address or change those things.
Express your feelings in appropriate ways. Let people close to you know when something is bothering you. Keeping feelings of sadness or anger inside adds to stress. It can cause problems in your relationships and at work or school.
Think before you act. Emotions can be powerful. Give yourself time to think, and be calm before you say or do something you might regret.
Manage stress. Try to change situations causing you stress. Learn relaxation methods to cope with stress. These could include deep breathing, meditation, and exercise.
Strive for balance. Find a healthy balance between work and play and between activity and rest. Make time for things you enjoy. Focus on positive things in your life.
Take care of your physical health. Your physical health can affect your emotional health. Exercise regularly, eat healthy meals, and get enough sleep. Don’t abuse drugs or alcohol.
Connect with others. We are social creatures. We need positive connections with other people. Make a lunch date, join a group, and say hi to strangers.
Find purpose and meaning. Figure out what it is important to you in life, and focus on that. This could be your work, your family, volunteering, caregiving, or something else. Spend your time doing what feels meaningful to you.
Stay positive. Focus on the good things in your life. Forgive yourself for making mistakes, and forgive others. Spend time with healthy, positive people.

Activity Two

Reflection Questions

In your Conflict Resolution Course Reflection Question Worksheet PDF. or personal notebook, record your responses to the following reflection questions.

If you looked at a conflict you were involved in and held the idea that the relationship with the other person was your number one priority, how might you have behaved differently?
What are the habits I use to stay emotionally healthy? What are early signs that my emotional state is deteriorating?
Can you think of an example where you got into conflict because you were tired or not in your best emotional state?